The E~Coaster

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She let him in. Against all her better judgment, she opened the door. She gave up everything for him. All her defenses were down, he had every key and code her to heart and soul. Little did she know that by letting him so far in she was just the next girl in-line to board his rollercoaster of emotions.

This wasn’t a normal rollercoaster. This one had no clear end in sight, no emergency stop button, nowhere to exit on her own accord. It was cleverly disguised too. It looked like the perfect ride. It was shiny with a lot of loop-d-loops, excitement and entertainment. Once she boarded she was stuck. Don’t get her wrong; there were great parts to the ride, really amazing. But the dangerous frightening dips were truly dangerous and thoroughly frightening.

Then one day it came to a gut-wrenching abrupt stop – at the highest point – the harness released and dumped her out. Completely blindsided and free falling their entire relationship flashed before her eyes. How could she have ever been so foolish to let him in and agree to get on his ride? She vowed never again, and before she could hit solid ground he already had another girl climbing in…for the ride of her life.

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Ghost of Them

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She is mostly over him. But sometimes the ghost of them pops up and catches her off guard. The sneak attack of hurt and pain rushes in like a breaking damn. The same unanswered questions. The same frustration of not understanding where it all went wrong. The feeling that she is someone’s version of a bad country heartbreak song.

Crippled by it all she lays there silently sobbing in tears. Like her body is purging the pain it had been hiding. Slipping back into the hellish nightmare. Climbing back on the emotional rollercoaster. Suffocated by the ghost of them.

But then a voice deep inside shakes her to her senses. Getting slowly to her feet she gently wipes the tears from her face as the ghost reluctantly fades in the background. Waiting for his next moment when she least expects.

Lie, Cheat & Steal

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She felt she had wasted her twenties – wasted them on a series of mistakes. People say that with each mistake you learn a valuable lesson – the only lesson she learned was that guys lie, cheat & steal. They will lie to your face, cheat behind your back & steal your heart.

As she blew out her thirty birthday candles all she wished for was a time machine. She knew better. She was stronger than that. So many regrets. So many missed opportunities. She was so busy looking for her happiness in all the wrong places.

The hardest realization was that fairy tales weren’t really true. There was no prince charming. No white horse. No fairy godmothers. Just a bunch of pumpkins that would never carry her away. Never settle. Never look for happiness anywhere except in your own heart. Don’t make anymore regrets. She wasn’t wasting her thirties.